The last vacation

We are at the beach. The hurricanes have curtailed the wave jumping since they are about 12 feet high with an undertow that will suck you out in a blink.

The kids are a bit bummed out, only allowed in to their ankles.

They've also resorted to other activities.

 



In other news, I have no wifi on my computer here, and have been glued to my phone thanks to my new Hipstamatic photo app. LOVING IT! My friends have started to ignore me.

What is it with people?

People don't introduce themselves anymore. Even after having a conversation. It happens a lot in meetings at my agency. New people show up, they aren't introduced and don't introduce themselves. I blame it on youth. Inevitably I will introduce myself, hoping to set an example. Are people afraid of introductions? Just this morning as I was walking Chase, I came upon a woman and her much larger dog. She commented about the cute puppy and we chatted for a couple minutes. It didn't seem to occur to her to introduce herself. There's a good chance I will run into her again. She even suggested as much. Before she left, I introduced myself. It wasn't hard. Part of the reason I like to get it out of the way, is that eventually if you keep running into this nameless person, it becomes almost too late to eventually ask what their name is. You should already know it, right?

Also, when did people become afraid of getting a little wet from the rain? It's water. It dries. I was in line at the grocery store as the sky opened up. Just for a few minutes until it tapered off. I can understand waiting out a torrential downpour. You and all your groceries would be soaked the second you stepped off the curb. But a little rain? The parking lot is small. You don't have far to go. Yet people were still pulling up to their carts to load their cars curbside. It's just water.

I'm in trouble

Six years old and picked out the outfit herself. Where can I send her when she's a teenager?

I know... dog updates. It will end soon. I swear.

I have slept. And I feel human once again.

For those who feel it necessary to make fun of us for having the dog sleep in our room (and you know who you are), I will point out that 1. It was after 2 1/2 weeks of the dog crying through the night. Not one night. 18 nights. 2. The dog is in a crate. NOT IN OUR BED. 3. The dog is 10 weeks old. A baby. Not a ... Well, I'm sure you know where I'm going with that.

Also, is it normal for puppies to flat out refuse to go for a walk? The dog must be carried halfway around the block until she reaches the same spot each day, before she acts like a normal dog on a leash. What is this?


In other news, we are in the middle of the very important process of training...

The puppybaby

I am not going to be one of those people that blog incessantly about their dog.

But...

If any of you remember not that long ago I made it very clear that I did not want a dog.

Not in any way shape or form did I want something else to care for.

There are times when I'd like to give back my own kids just so I can have some freedom to do what I want.

I'm selfish like that.

After two and half weeks with the puppybaby, my opinion has not changed. Whining, barking, crying through the night. Middle of the night pee sessions. Can't take your eyes off her for fear that she will gnaw through the nearest piece of furniture/carpet/floor/stair/child's limb.

There have been plenty of bitten ankles, scratched arms and crocodile tears. If the girls changed their minds? Good bye puppybaby. I wouldn't hesitate. No matter how freakin' cute she is.

It was one thing to wake in the middle of the night to change a diaper...a human baby's diaper...and coax them back to sleep. But to have to descend three flights of stairs, bleary eyed in the wee hours of the morning and stand OUTSIDE, swatting at mosquitos while the puppybaby sits and stares at me? Uh. No.

We are fucking tired.

So tired that we caved.

She slept in our room last night.

Under our bed.

She didn't cry, whine or bark.

All night.

We did, however, have to WAKE HER UP to take her out for a middle of the night pee.

And, we still don't feel rested because we were afraid to fall into a deep sleep and wouldn't hear her wake up and pee on the carpet.

We are all for crate training.

But I like my sleep more.

Besides, is it really so bad to have her in our room?

Friends forever

This past weekend, I left the hubs and the puppy (sweet jesus, please let me have some solid sleep!) and took my girls on a mini road trip to visit friends in Maryland, my home state. The concept of getting our kids together is totally wild to me. Kelly, one of my oldest friends, and I have known each other since we were just 4 years old. My other friends, since we were 14. Totally wild.

But, because the kids only see each other twice a year at the most, getting them together means there's potential some of them won't get along.  And if they don't get along, I'm stuck moderating fights and wiping tears. Which means less drinking and chatting with my oldest friends. Damn kids.

It's also the only time a year we go out on a boat. I love being out on the water. If it didn't cost $50 a gallon in boat gas, I would insist we stay out there all day. Because it's such a rare luxury for me, there's something, dare I say special? about it.  Like, for a split second I'm part of a unique group of boaters and everyone else is envious! Pulling into the Annapolis marina, seeing all the tourists on land, seeing me - I know they are jealous. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm special enough to be on a boat, and you? You are on LAND.

I love it.

This is Kelly, one of my oldest friends in the world. I threw her mother's home grown tomatoes down their cellar steps in a fit of jealous rage. And my friend Ann. Ann rocks. We were in 9th grade together. Like, not that long ago. Cause I am certainly not THAT old.

E likes making tourists jealous too. She's styling and looking oh so cool in my shades.

Actually, wearing sunglasses was the only way to keep your eyes open at full throttle.

Little K likes to take charge, kicking Captain Dan from the helm and steering us closer to the tourists so we could show off even more. We had beer, after all. Nevermind the fact that she nearly ran over a couple in a kayak. Pffft. Kayak pee-ons.

Aside from all that...no matter wherever we are or whatever we're doing, it's nice to be around old friends who find your most annoying flaws amusing. And if you're lucky enough to have friends, even just one, who you've known for a ridiculous amount of time, then you know how truly special that friendship is. Even if not one of those IRL friends has a blog.

Community Service - Not Court Ordered

Every year, the ad agency I work for selects a local elementary school in need of some serious TLC. Three hundred plus coworkers and I descend on the school ready to clean, paint and plant. Extreme Makeover-style. Since I'm inside all day for work I opt for the outside projects, painting the murals.

It's feels good to do something for a needy school. But what I like the most is the people that live nearby come out to see what's going on. A couple people even stopped me to find out what was up as I walked there. I think it's good for a community to witness volunteer work. Who knows, maybe it will inspire them.

I made a napkin

Just one. Because that's apparently all I have time for. Me, a mom who works full time, who ties to spend some time with her family and possibly eat a little dinner before falling into bed for maybe two hours at a stretch before the puppy starts howling for attention. Me, with zero spare time, is trying to squeeze in 26 projects from easy to girl-you-work-that-sewing-machine. Me is? And I call myself a writer.

Anyway, this is what I made. You can't tell from the photo, but it really looks like shit. And wipe your mouth with it? Well, maybe. But it's not pretty. That damn foot pedal is so sensitive. One touch and the fabric just flies under the needle totally out of control. What's worse, it doesn't get more simple than this. One piece of fabric with some hemming. A sewer I am not.

Not yet anyway.

Writer's Workshop: It was my turn.

I've been meaning to take on one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, but hadn't felt inspired enough until now...

The Craziest Reason I Ever Got In Trouble as a Kid.

Unlike the stereotype of the rule-abiding, responsible first-born (that I am now), as a child I was more interested in doing what I wanted. I mean, I knew best! And, as I have become better at today, I wasn't very good at keeping my thoughts to myself. Why should I be burdened with negative thoughts about you? You deserve to know!

Growing up, I had two best friends: BreAnne and Kelly. Hi girls! Our backyards were connected. Kelly's parents owned a condo at the beach, and every year she was allowed to bring a friend. Just one. How unfair of Kelly's parents to leave one of us out, right?!

But to keep things fair (as if that makes sense to a pre-adolescent), each year, BreAnne or I would get a turn. This one particular year, I was told it was BreAnne's turn to go. Except that it wasn't. It was my turn.

I was sure of it.

100% positive.

Without a doubt.

My effing turn.

No matter how many times I said it, or how much complaining I did, or how angry I got, there was no convincing them otherwise.

I think they just didn't want me to go. I was the "bad" kid after all.

And I was very unhappy.

So unhappy, in fact, that I took it upon myself to pick every last one of Kelly's mom's homegrown tomatoes straight off the vine and hurl each one with all my might straight down her cellar steps.

It was my turn, people.

As luck would have it, the neighborhood busy body lived right behind Kelly. And she saw me. Of course. I was always getting busted.

She promptly called my parents, and I'm sure a dozen other people in the neighborhood.

After my father questioned me, and I denied the crime (duh!), I was dragged by my elbow to face Kelly's mother and admit what I did. And apologize. Ugh.

Seriously, it was my turn.





By the way, I have been friends with Kelly and BreAnne for over 30 years, and Kelly's mom STILL tells that story to everyone!

Me and the Sewing Machine

I have taught myself to knit. I have taught myself to crochet (although I have yet to finish a crochet project). Now, I'm embarking down the path of sewing. I have no real interest in learning how to make clothes. In fact, the idea of sewing my own clothes kind of gives me a pioneer woman from the prairie feeling that I'm just not comfortable with. But, I would love to make things for my home, like curtains, pillow covers, table runners. Things that cost way more than I'm willing to spend on them.

I have a sewing machine that's been collecting dust for years. So I signed up for this online sewing class.

Sunday, I ran to the fabric store to gather some supplies for the first couple projects.

If you're anything like me, you walk into a craft store and want to spend the entire day in there browsing all the crafty possibilities. I want to make everything. Literally. When I went to Joann's Fabric and Craft store, the escalator carried me down into a basement filled with projects galore. I seriously get that kid-in-a-candy-store feeling. Thank God I had a list. And I was sticking to it. Or, I swear, I'd still be there!

Even the girls got excited about it. They both picked out a couple fat quarters and matching thread. Little K already made a mini pillow for her stuffed animals, with a lot of help from E (who learned to sew at camp, and is teaching me a thing or two).

Got my fabric (How do you narrow it down? So many choices!) for cloth napkins and a drawstring gift pouch.

Then I faced the Sewing Machine. My girl Sweet Susie.

Sweet Susie and I needed to get acquainted fast. The class started on Tuesday and I didn't even know how to thread her yet. And make a bobbin? Craziness.

Did I mention I'm exhaused from sleepless nights thanks to our baby puppy? And the only time I have to take this class is at about, oh I don't know, 9 pm? Yeah, not a lot of energy here.

But, I'm happy to say that last night I managed to make my first bobbin and thread Sweet Susie. Tonight, cloth napkins, barring I can see straight.

And just as a side note, there are over 500 people signed up for this class. At $60 a pop, that's $30,000, and a decent little side biz.

I used to make candles. Anyone want to take a class?

Ella's Lemonade Stand

Somehow E got the idea in her head that she wanted to do "an original kid thing". A what?  An original kid thing, you know. Like a lemonade stand? Duhhh! Far be it from me to squash creativity, but this was going to involve me in ways that I did not want to be involved. Namely, sitting outside in 90 degree humidity, waiting for a poor neighbor to walk by, when I could be doing a dozen other things, like shopping for fabric for my sewing class, or figuring out how to set up my sewing machine so I can be ready for my sewing class. Or doing laundry. Or taking a nap.

Am I not the worst mother? I'm sure you're thinking, how selfish! Spend some quality time with your adorable and loving daughters.

But that's why we had a second child. So they can keep each other company while I go and get all selfish on the family.

Geez!

Ok, so I wasn't selfish. In my mind, I wanted to be. Instead, I ran to the store to get cookies COOKIES! to go with the pink lemonade, and lemons to make it look like it didn't come from a container of pink sugar and chemicals. I even looked for balloons to help draw attention to her table. I brought her change purse out, ready for the flow of cash she was going to encounter. I mean, if we're going to do something, we're throwing ourselves into it!

Unfortunately for E, we live on a low traffic street. But it wasn't long before the girls spotted someone walking down the street. "Our first customer!" screamed K. And the girls scrambled to get in position. Sadly, the potential customer claimed to have no money. Loser!

The lemonade, originally priced at $1, quickly went on sale for $0.25.

A few neighbors ventured out and did the neighborly thing. Thank God! E is rather shy and when on the spot she speaks barely above a whisper. Which is part of the reason why I was shocked that she actually followed through with this little business. But it was a great experience for her. Plus it was really sweet to watch her ask politely if they would like some lemonade. You could tell she wanted to get it right. It made my heart swell.

Little K, on the other hand, was more interested in eating and drinking all the profits.

Working out with Puppy

My morning routine is not easy to maintain. Getting up at 5:30 to exert myself and sweat? Not my ideal way to start the day, but how I have to start the day. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd be tipping the scales at some embarassing number.

I don't mind getting up early. In fact, I rather like it. The house is still. It would be even better if coffee was already brewed. And I didn't have to get myself together for work, or the girls ready for the day.

But now I have this.  

I know, she's cute. How can you resist? But workout while she's up? After spending a night in her crate? Fat chance. I tried push ups but she jumps on my head or crawls under me. Sit ups? She pulls my ponytail, pounces on my stomach and bites my shoelaces. It's not fun. I could put her in the kitchen with the gate up, but then she cries and whines and barks and wakes up the house.

Which is worse? Getting mauled by a puppy while working out, or having the girls as an audience with 357 questions?

I need solutions, people!

Post-it Note Tuesday

  

A portrait

I am, admittedly, not the best gift giver. I try to give thoughtful gifts, but usually fall short. For this past father's day, I wanted to get the hubs something special. He does love his girls so. And fortunately, I came across Nan Lawson, who does these adorable illustrations. I sent her an e-mail with some photos, got on her waiting list, and voila!

The waiting list turned out to be a lot later than Father's Day, but just in time to add Chase to mix. I know they don't look very much like the girls. The illustration is, in fact, pretty generic. But, the clothes, the stuffed animal, the hair, are true and all add to the charm. Plus, I know it was drawn with them in mind.

Meet Chase

Saturday, life as we knew it changed. We brought home a baby. Meet Chase. She's just 8 weeks old.

The car ride home was about an hour. And in that time frame, not only did I get peed on (within 5 minutes of getting in the car), I also got barfed on. That's right. The one who didn't want the dog to begin with. Karma.

The nice thing about puppies is that, like babies, they sleep a lot.

It was a traumatic day for her. We're working on getting her crate trained.

At least we made it into the house.